untitled by henrytophat on Flickr.
So you know that bit in Hamlet where he’s talking to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and what a piece of work is a man and so on.
There’s a part where he says “This most excellent canopy, the air, look you: this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof, fretted with golden fire …”
This is what I picture when I hear those words. Even if he goes on to say it seems to him no other thing than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
Wow, so I was reading about Frederick “I am going to drown anticlimactically on the journey [to the Third Crusade] while trying to bathe in a river” Barbarossa, and Wikipedia says he drowned because he tried to ford the river on his horse and his armour was too heavy for him to swim in when the current swept his horse away.
But the really crazy part is that his men tried to preserve his body in a barrel of vinegar, with the aim of burying him in Jerusalem, which didn’t work very well, and somehow his flesh, bones and internal organs ended up being interred in three different places: Antioch, Tyre and Tarsus, respectively.
Like, how does that happen? “Hey, guys, the emperor is starting to smell bad; I don’t think the vinegar is working.”
“Hey, let’s strip all the flesh off his bones and bury it here.”
“Ok, but let’s carry his organs down the road a ways to Tarsus.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”
Later: “Man, do we really need to carry these bones all the way to Jerusalem?”
“Nah, man, just leave them over in Tyre, that’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I mean, it’s still pretty holy over here.”
I want to take a picture like this. I have one pipe that’s relatively straight.
There is a specific reason for this, but I dunno if I’m allowed to tell you what it is.
The Very Angry Bunny.
Once upon a time, there was a very angry bunny and he lived in the forest with his wife and their 278 children.
He was very angry all the time because his wife was cheating on him with an idiot red squirrel that lived two trees over.
“Dumb fucking rodent,” the very angry bunny muttered angrily to himself. “She doesn’t even have the decency to cheat on me with a fucking lagomorph.”
One day, the very angry bunny was in the meadow on the edge of the forest, eating some delicious clover and actually feeling sort of ok for once, when who should walk by the that fucking asshole red squirrel.
“Morning, Fred,” said that goddamned fucking red squirrel.
The very angry bunny looked at the smug fucking bastard red squirrel, and suddenly he snapped. “I’m going to kill you, motherfucker!” shouted the very angry bunny, jumping up and tackling that stupid piece of shit red squirrel.
The very angry bunny sank his sharp teeth into the fucking red squirrel’s neck and ripped his fucking throat out.
The goddamned idiot red squirrel lay helplessly on the ground, bleeding copiously from his wound. The very angry bunny stood over him triumphantly, his mouth dripping blood.
The very angry bunny felt so good about killing that fucking squirrel that he was never angry again.
The End.
